40 of the greatest and best text messages & sayings

The following is a list of the top 40 best text messages and funny sayings from the last few years.  You can run these through the www.transl8it.com translator and you will get the condensed version:


  1. You don’t marry someone you can live with. You marry the person who you cannot live without.
  2. Women listen to music because they are in love. Men listen to music because they want to fall in love.
  3. Some people don’t get any respect at all because they are asking for the respect they deserve.
  4. There is no such a thing as ignorance, but only degrees of wisdom.
  5. Traffic. The spell that makes commuters forget they are in love.
  6. Love and stars are similar in one way. They keep you looking up every night.
  7. It’s better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than lose that someone with your pride.
  8. The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
  9. Women fall in love through their ears, and men through their eyes.
  10. Home is the only place where one does not get homesick.
  11. A person is happy if he has a problem and enjoys solving it.
  12. In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.
  13. Being happy all the time is kind of boring.
  14. Words and hearts should be handled with care… for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.
  15. It takes 3 seconds to say I love you, 3 minutes to explain, 3 hours to demonstrate, 3 days to appreciate, 3 terms to produce it, but a lifetime to prove it.
  16. The best thing about an enemy is that he tells the truth about you.
  17. Say good about yourself and you’ll be called arrogant; say bad about yourself and you’ll be believed.
  18. Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows.
  19. It is always a pleasure to listen to persons bragging about their humility.
  20. We forgive those who bore us but cannot forgive those whom we bore.



  1. We will now upgrade your brain, please wait….Searching….searching…still searching….sorry,NO BRAIN found…!
  2. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  3. Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
  4. Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
  5. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
  6. Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
  7. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
  8. Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
  9. Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!
  10. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  11. Jesus loves you… everyone else think you’re an asshole…
  12. Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis…… ERROR: Your penis was not found! Sorry.
  13. Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own!!!!
  14. God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
  15. Why were males created before females? you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
  16. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that thing?
  17. I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
  18. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”


Shawn Manaher

Shawn Manaher is the founder and CEO of The Content Authority and Transl8it.com. He’s a seasoned innovator, harnessing the power of technology to connect cultures through language. His worse translation though is when he refers to “pancakes” as “flat waffles”.